S.U.R.F the wave

Triggers and painful emotions can make it hard to find room to breathe, and to cope with stressful situations. When triggers surface, you can utilize some or all of these steps (in any order that is helpful for you) to work through and reclaim your sense of peace and purpose.

To work though these triggers - or for any situation where you need some tools to work through heightened emotions - remember to SURF the wave.

S

Soothe - Do you need to do some grounding? It can be tough to have clarity about what we need if our nervous system is on high alert. Take some time to check in with yourself - how is your breathing, heart rate, body tension and physical comfort? Take some steps to meet these needs, then you can figure out what’s next.

U

Use - Do you need to use this feeling to take action? This can look like a figuring out a boundary, creating a plan of action, or following through on steps towards meeting a need. For example, if you’re angry - anger can be the fuel that propels you to action. If your feelings are telling you something needs to happen, what is the right step for you?

R

Release - Sometimes big emotions need to go somewhere. If they don’t, they can stay locked inside and wreak havoc on your body, headspace, and mental state. Where can we put them? What do you need to get them out? Get creative - can you scribble the feeling out on a piece of paper? Go to a rage room? Coupling physical movement with the emotion can be helpful. This may take some practice, and that’s okay because the end result might help you know what you need more instinctively in the future.

F

Feel - Do you need to feel the feels? What would it be like to stay right here in this feeling a bit longer? What would you need to do that? Feelings can be uncomfortable, painful, maybe sometimes a bit terrifying. What support do you need to feel rather than flee? This may take some extra tools or support, including emotional, physical, or mental space, safety and/or energy to do so. You may also want to include a therapist, coach, and/or a trusted friend on your team of resources and support.

Click here for a printable handout of S.U.R.F. the Wave.